§ 14. Conflict with the Sangh
1. Eight years had passed by since Siddharth was made a member of the Sakya Sangh.
2. He was a very devoted and steadfast member of the Sangh. He took the same interest in the affairs of the Sangh as he did in his own. His conduct as a member of the Sangh was exemplary and he had endeared himself to all.
3. In the eighth year of his membership, an event occurred which resulted in a tragedy for the family of Suddhodana and a crisis in the life of Siddharth.
4. This is the origin of the tragedy.
5. Bordering on the State of the Sakyas was the State of the Koliyas. The two kingdoms were divided by the river Rohini.
6. The waters of the Rohini were used by both the Sakyas and the Koliyas for irrigating their fields. Every season there used to be disputes between them as to who should take the water of the Rohini first and how much. These disputes resulted in quarrels and sometimes in affrays.
7. In the year when Siddharth was twenty-eight, there was a major clash over the waters between the servants of the Sakyas and the servants of the Koliyas, Both sides suffered injuries.
8. Coming to know of this, the Sakyas and the Koliyas felt that the issue must be settled once for all by war.
9. The Senapati of the Sakyas, therefore, called a session of the Sakya Sangh to consider the question of declaring war on the Koliyas.
10. Addressing the members of the Sangh, the Senapati said : ” Our people have been attacked by the Koliyas and they had to retreat. Such acts of aggression by the Koliyas have taken place more than once. We have tolerated them so far. But this cannot go on. It must be stopped and the only way to stop it is to declare war against the Koliyas. I propose that the Sangh do declare war on the Koliyas. Those who wish to oppose may speak.”
11. Siddharth Gautama rose in his seat and said : ” I oppose this resolution. War does not solve any question. Waging war will not serve our purpose. It will sow the seeds of another war. The slayer gets a slayer in his turn ; the conqueror gets one who conquers him ; a man who despoils is despoiled in his turn.”
12. Siddharth Gautama continued: ” I feel that the Sangh should not be in hase to declare war on the Koliyas: Careful investigation should be made to ascertain who is the guilty party. I hear that our men have also been aggressors. If this be true, then it is obvious that we too are not free from blame.”
13. The Senapati replied : ” Yes, our men were the aggressors. But it must not be forgotten that it was our turn to take the water first.”
14. Siddharth Gautama said: ” This shows that we are not completely free from blame. I therefore propose that we elect two men from us and the Koliyas should be asked to elect two from them and the four should elect a fifth person and these should settle the dispute.”
15. The amendment moved by Siddharth Gautama was duly seconded. But the Senapati opposed the amendment, saying : ” I am sure that this menace of the Koliyas will not end unless they are severely punished.”
16. The resolution and the amendment had therefore to be put to vote. The amendment moved by Siddharth Gautama was put first. It was declared lost by an overwhelming majority.
17. The Senapati next put his own resolution to vote. Siddharth Gautama again stood up to oppose it. ” I beg the Sangh,” he said, ” not to accept the resolution. The Sakyas and the Koliyas are close relations. It is unwise that they should destroy each other.”
18. The Senapati encountered the plea urged by Siddharth Gautama. He stressed that in war the Kshatriyas cannot make a distinction between relations and strangers. They must fight even against brothers for the sake of their kingdom.
19. Performing sacrifices is the duty of the Brahmins, fighting is the duty of the Kshatriyas, trading is the duty of the Vaishas and service is the duty of the Shudras. There is merit in each class forming its duty. Such is the injunction of our Shasras.
20. Siddharth replied : ” Dharma, as I understand it, consists in recognising that enmity does not disappear by enmity. It can be conquered by love only.”
21. The Senapati, getting impatient, said : “It is unnecessary to enter upon this philosophical disquisition. The point is that Siddharth is opposed to my resolution. Let us ascertain what the Sangh has to say about it by putting it to vote.”
22. Accordingly the Senapati put his resolution to vote. It was declared carried by an overwhelming majority.
15. Offer of Exile
1. Next day the Senapati called another meeting of the Sakya Sangh to have his plan of mobilisation considered by the Sangh.
2. When the Sangh met, he proposed that he be permitted to proclaim an order calling to arms for the war against the Koliyas every Sakya between the ages of 20 and 50.
3. The meeting was attended by both sides— those who at the previous meeting of the Sangh had voted in favour of a declaration of war as well as those who had voted against it.
4. For those who had voted in favour there was no difficulty in accepting the proposal of the Senapati. It was a natural consequence of their earlier decision.
5. But the minority who had voted against it had a problem to face. Their problem was—to submit or not to submit to the decision of the majority. 6. The minority was determined not to submit to the majority. That is the reason why they had decided to be present at the meeting. Unfortunately, none of them had the courage to say so openly. Perhaps they knew the consequences of opposing the majority.
7. Seeing that his supporters were silent, Siddharth stood up, and addressing the Sangh, said: ” Friends ! You may do what you like. You have a majority on your side, but I am sorry to say I shall oppose your decision in favour of mobilisation. I shall not join your army and I shall not take part in the war.”
8. The Senapati, replying to Siddharth Gautama, said : ” Do remember the vows you had taken when you were admitted to the membership of the Sangh. If you break any of them you will expose yourself to public shame.”
9. Siddharth replied: ” Yes, I have pledged myself to safeguard the best interests of the Sakyas by my body, mind and money. But I do not think that this war is in the best interests of the Sakyas. What is public shame to me before the best interests of the Sakyas ? “
10. Siddharth proceeded to caution the Sangh by reminding it of how the Sakyas have become the vassals of the King of Kosala by reason of their quarrels with the Koliyas. “It is not difficult to imagine,” he said, ” that this war will give him a greater handle to further reduce the freedom of the Sakyas.”
11. The Senapati grew angry and addressing Siddharth, said : ” Your eloquence will not help you. You must obey the majority decision of the Sangh. You are perhaps counting upon the fact that the Sangh has no power to order an offender to be hanged or to exile him without the sanction of the king of the Kosalas and that the king of the Kosalas will not give permission if either of the two sentences was passed against you by the Sangh.”
12. ” But remember the Sangh has other ways of punishing you. The Sangh can declare a social boycott against your family and the Sangh can confiscate your family lands. For this the Sangh does not have to obtain the permission of the king of the Kosalas.”
13. Siddharth realised the consequences that would follow if he continued his opposition to the Sangh in its plan of war against the Koliyas. He had three alternatives to consider—to join the forces and participate in the war ; to consent to being hanged or exiled ; and to allow the members of his family to be condemned to a social boycott and confiscation of property.
14. He was firm in not accepting the first. As to the third he felt it was unthinkable. Under the circumstances he felt that the second alternative was the best.
15. Accordingly, Siddharth spoke to the Sangh. ” Please do not punish my family. Do not put them in distress by subjecting them to a social boycott. Do not make them destitute by confiscating their land which is their only means of livelihood. They are innocent. I am the guilty person. Let me alone suffer for my wrong. Sentence me to death or exile, whichever you like. I will willingly accept it and I promise I shall not appeal to the king of the Kosalas.'”
§ 16. Parivraja-the Way Out
1. The Senapati said : ” It is difficult to accept your suggestion. For even if you voluntarily agreed to undergo the sentence of death or exile, the matter is sure to become known to the king of the Kosalas and he is sure to conclude that it is the Sangh which has inflicted this punishment and take action against the Sangh.”
2. ” If this is the difficulty I can easily suggest a way out,” said Siddharth Gautama. ” I can become a Parivrajaka and leave this country. It is a kind of an exile.”
3. The Senapati thought this was a good solution. But he had still some doubt about Siddharth being able to give effect to it.
4. So the Senapati asked Siddharth : ” How can you become a Parivrajaka unless you obtain the consent of your parents and your wife ? “
5. Siddharth assured him that he would do his best to obtain their permission. ” I promise,” he said, ” to leave this country immediately whether I obtain their consent or not.”
6. The Sangh felt that the proposal made by Siddharth was the best way out and they agreed to it.
7. After finishing the business before the meeting, the Sangh was about to rise when a young Sakya got up in his place and said : ” Give me a hearing, I have something important to say.”
8. Being granted permission to speak, he said : ” I have no doubt that Siddharth Gautama will keep his promise and leave the country immediately. There is, however, one question over which I do not feel very happy.
9. “Now that Siddharth will soon be out of sight, does the Sangh propose to give immediate effect to its declaration of war against the Koliyas ?
10. ” I want the Sangh to give further consideration to this question. In any event, the king of the Kosalas is bound to come to know of the exile of Siddharth Gautama. If the Sakyas declare a war against the Koliyas immediately, the king of Kosalas will understand that Siddharth left only because he was opposed to war against the Koliyas. This will not go well with us.
11. “I, therefore, propose that we should also allow an interval to pass between the exile of Siddharth Gautama and the actual commencement of hostilities so as not to allow the King of Kosala to establish any connection between the two.”
12. The Sangh realised that this was a very important proposal. And as a matter of expediency, the Sangh agreed to accept it.
13. Thus ended the tragic session of the Sakya Sangh and the minority which was opposed to the war but who had not the courage to say so, heaved a sigh of relief that it was able to overcome a situation full of calamitous consequences.
§ 17. Parting Words
1. The news of what happened at the meeting of the Sakya Sangh had travelled to the Raja’s palace long before the return of Siddharth Gautama.
2. For on reaching home he found his parents weeping and plunged in great grief.
3. Suddhodana said : ” We were talking about the evils of war. But I never thought that you would go to such lengths.”
4. Siddharth replied, ” I too did not think things would take such a turn. I was hoping that I would be able to win over the Sakyas to the cause of peace by my argument.
5. ” Unfortunately, our military officers had so worked up the feelings of the men that my argument failed to have any effect on them.
6. ” But I hope you realise how I have saved the situation from becoming worse. I have not given up the cause of truth and justice and whatever the punishment for my standing for truth and justice, I have succeeded in making its infliction personal to me.”
7. Suddhodana was not satisfied with this. “You have not considered what is to happen to us.” ” But that is the reason why I undertook to become a Pariv-rajaka,” replied Siddharth. ” Consider the consequences if the Sakyas had ordered the confiscation of your lands.”
8. ” But without you what is the use of these lands to us ? ” cried Suddhodana. Why should not the whole family leave the country of the Sakyas and go into exile along with you ? “
9. Prajapati Gautami, who was weeping, joined Suddhodana in argument, saying ; ” I agree. How can you go alone leaving us here like this ? “
10. Siddharth said : ” Mother, have you not always claimed to be the mother of a Kshatriya ? Is that not so ? You must then be brave. This grief is unbecoming of you. What would you have done if I had gone to the battle-field and died? Would you have grieved like this ? “
11. “No,” replied Gautami. “That would have been befitting a Kshatriya. But you are now going into the jungle far away from people, living in the company of wild beasts. How can we stay here in peace ? I say you should take us along with you.”
12. ” How can I take you all with me ? Nanda is only a child. Rahul my son is just born. Can you come leaving them here ? ” He asked Gautami.
13. Gautami was not satisfied. She urged : ” It is possible for us all to leave the country of the Sakyas and go to the country of the Kosalas under the protection of their king.”
14. ” But mother! What would the Sakyas say ? ” asked Siddharth. ” Would they not regard it as treason ? Besides, I pledged that I will do nothing either by word or by deed to let the king of the Kosalas know the true cause of my Parivraja.
15. “It is true that I may have to live alone in the jungle. But which is better? To live in the jungle or to be a party to the killing of the Koliyas !”
16. “But why this impatience?” asked Sud-dhodana. ” The Sakyas Sangh has decided to postpone the date of the hostilities for some time.
17. ” Perhaps the hostilities may not be started at all. Why not postpone your Parivraja ? May be, it would be possible to obtain the permission of the Sangh for you to stay among the Sakyas.”
18. This idea was repellent to Siddharth. “It is because I promised to take Parivraja that the Sangh decided to postpone the commencement of hostilities against the Koliyas.
19. “It is possible that after I take Parivraja the Sangh may be persuaded to withdraw their declaration of war. All this depends upon my first taking Parivraja.
20. ” I have made a promise and I must carry it out. The consequences of any breach of promise may be very grave both to us and to the cause of peace.
21. “Mother, do not now stand in my way. Give me your permission and your blessings. What is happening is for the best.”
22. Gautami and Suddhodana kept silent.
23. Then Siddharth went to the apartment of Yeshodhara. Seeing her, he stood silent, not knowing what to say and how to say it. She broke the silence by saying : ” I have heard all that has happened at the meeting of the Sangh at Kapilavatsu.”
24. He asked her:—” Yeshodhara, tell me what you think of my decision to take Parivraja ? “
25. He expected she would collapse. Nothing of the kind happened.
26. With full control over her emotions, she replied : ” What else could I have done if I were in your position? I certainly would not have been a party to a war on the Koliyas.
27. “Your decision is the right decision. You have my consent and my support. I too would have taken Parivraja with you. If I do not, it is only because I have Rahula to look after.
28. ” I wish it had not come to this. But we must be bold and brave and face the situation. Do not be anxious about your parents and your son. I will look after them till there is life in me.
29. ” All I wish is that now that you are becoming a Parivrajaka leaving behind all who are near and dear to you, you will find a new way of life which would result in the happiness of mankind.”
30. Siddharth Gautama was greatly impressed. He realised as never before what a brave, courageous and noble-minded woman Yeshodhara was, and how fortunate he was in having her as his wife and how fate had put them asunder. He asked her to bring Rahula. He cast his fatherly look on him and left.
§ 18. Leaving His Home
1. Siddharth thought of taking Parivraja at the hands of Bharadwaja who had his Ashram at Kapila-vatsu. Accordingly he rose the next day and started for the Ashram on his favourite horse Kanthaka with his servant Channa walking along.
2. As he came near the Ashram, men and women came out and thronged the gates to meet him as a newly arrived bridegroom.
3. And when they came up to him, their eyes wide open in wonder, they performed their due homage with hands folded like a lotus calyx.
4. Then they stood surrounding him, their minds overpowered by passion, as if they were drinking him in with their eyes motionless and blossoming wide with love.
5. Some of the women verily thought that he was Kama incarnate, decorated as he was with his brilliant signs as with connate ornaments.
6. Others thought from his gentleness and his majesty that it was the moon with its ambrosial beams as it were visibly come down to the earth.
7. Others, smitten by his beauty, yawned as if to swallow him, and fixing their eyes on each other, softly sighed.
8. Thus the women only looked upon him, simply gazing with their eyes. They spoke not, nor did they smile. They surrounded him and stood aghas thinking of his decision to take Parivraja.
9. With great difficulty he extricated himself from the crowd and entered the gates of the Ashram.
10. Siddharth did not like Suddhodana and Prajapati Gautami to be present to witness his Pariv-raja. For he knew that they would break down under the weight of grief. But they had already reached the Ashram without letting him know.
11. As he entered the compound of the Ashram he saw in the crowd his father and mother.
12. Seeing his parents he first went to them and asked for their blessing. They were so choked with emotion that they could hardly say a word. They wept and wept, held him fast and bathed him with their tears.
13. Channa had tied Kanthaka to a tree in the Ashram and was standing. Seeing Suddhodana and Prajapati in tears he too was overcome with emotion and was weeping.
14. Separating himself with great difficulty from his parents, Siddharth went to the place where Channa was standing. He gave him his dress and his ornaments to take back home.
15. Then he had his head shaved, as was required for a Parivrajaka. His cousin Mahanama had brought the clothes appropriate for a Parivrajaka and a begging bowl. Siddharth wore them.
16. Having thus prepared himself to enter the life of a Parivrajaka, Siddharth approached Bharad-waja to confer on him Parivraja.
17. Bharadwaja with the help of his disciples performed the necessary ceremonies and declared Siddharth Gautama to have become a Parivrajaka.
18. Remembering that he had given a double pledge to the Sakya Sangh to take Parivraja and to leave the Sakya kingdom without undue delay, Siddharth Gautama immediately on the completion of the Parivraja ceremony started on his journey.
19. The crowd which had collected in the Ashram was unusually large. That was because the circumstances leading to Gautama’s Parivraja were so extraordinary. As the prince stepped out of the Ashram the crowd also followed him.
20. He left Kapilavatsu and proceeded in the direction of the river Anoma. Looking back he saw the crowd still following him.
21. He stopped and addressed them, saying: ” Brothers and sisters, there is no use your following me. I have failed to settle the dispute between the Sakyas arid the Koliyas. But if you create public opinion in favour of settlement you might succeed. Be, therefore, so good as to return.” Hearing his appeal, the crowd started going back.
22. Suddhodana and Gautami also returned to the palace.
23. Gautami was unable to bear the sight of the robes and the ornaments discarded by Siddharth. She had them thrown into a lotus pool.
24. Siddharth Gautama was only twenty-nine when he underwent Parivraja (Renunciation). 25. People admired him and sighed for him; saying : ” Here was a Sakya blessed with high lineage, noble parentage, possessed of considerable riches, in the bloom of youthful vigour, accomplished in mind and body, brought up in luxury, who fought his kinsmen for the sake of maintaining peace on earth and goodwill towards men.
26. ” Here was a Sakya youth who when outvoted by his kinsmen refused to submit but preferred to undergo voluntary punishment which involved the exchange of riches for poverty, comfort for alms, home for homelessness. And so he goes with none in the world to care for him and with nothing in the world which he could claim as his own.
27. ” His was an act of supreme sacrifice willingly made. His is a brave and a courageous act. There is no parallel to it in the history of the world. He deserves to be called a Sakya Muni or Sakya Sinha.”
28. How true were the words of Kisa Gotami, a Sakya maiden. When referring to Siddharth Gautama, she said : ” Blessed indeed is the mother, blessed indeed is the father, who has such a son. Blessed indeed is the wife who has such a husband.”
§ 19. The Prince and the Servant
1. Channa too should have gone back home with Kanthaka. But he refused to go. He insisted on. seeing the Prince off with Kanthaka at least to the banks of the river Anoma and so insistent was Channa that the Gautama had to yield to his wishes.
2. At last they reached the banks of the river Anoma.
3. Then turning to Channa he said : ” Good friend, thy devotion to me has been proved by thy thus following me. I am wholly won in heart by thee, ye who have such a love for your master.
4. ” I am pleased with your noble feelings towards me, even though I am powerless of conferring any reward.
5. ” Who would not be favourably disposed to one who stands to him as bringing him reward ? But even one’s own people commonly become mere strangers in a reverse of fortune.
6. ” A son is brought up for the sake of the family, the father is honoured by the son for the sake of his own future support ; the world shows kindness for the sake of hope ; there is no such thing as unselfishness without a motive.
7. “Thou art the only exception. Take now this horse and return.
8. ” The king, with his loving confidence, still unshaken, must be enjoined to stay his grief.
9. ” Tell him, I have left him—with no thirst for heaven, with no lack of love, nor feeling of anger.
10. ” He should not think of mourning for me who am thus gone forth from my home; union, however long it may last, in time will come to an end.
11. ” Since separation is certain, how shall there not be repeated severings from one’s kindred?
12. ” At a man’s death there are doubtless heirs to his wealth but heirs to his merit are hard to find on the earth or exist not at all.
13. ” The king, my father, requires to be looked after. The king may say, ‘ He is gone at a wrong time.’ But there is no wrong time for duty.
14. ” Do thou address the king, 0 friend, with these and suchlike words ; and do thou use thy efforts so that he may not even remember me.
15. “Yes, do thou repeat to my mother my utter unworthiness to deserve her affection. She is a noble person, too noble for words.”
16. Having heard these words, Channa, overwhelmed with grief, made reply with folded hands, his voice choked by emotion :
17. ” Seeing that ye are causing affliction to thy kindred, my mind, 0 my Lord, sinks down like an elephant in a river of mud.
18. “To whom would not such a determination as this of thine, cause tears, even if his heart were of iron—how much more if it were throbbing with love ? 19. ” Where is gone this delicacy of limb, fit to lie only in a palace, and where is the ground of the ascetic forest, covered with the shoots of rough Kusa grass?
20. ” How could 1, 0 Prince, by mine own will, —knowing this thy decision,—carry back the horse to the sorrow of Kapilavatsu ?
21. ” Surely thou will not abandon that fond old king, so devoted to his son, as a heretic might the true religion ? .
22. “And her, thy second mother, worn with the care of bringing thee up,—thou will not surely forget her, as an ingrate does a benefit ?
23. “Thou wilt not surely abandon thy wife endowed with all virtues, illustrious for her family, devoted to her husband and with a young son.
24. ” Thou wilt not abandon the young son of Yeshodhara, worthy of all praise, thou the best of the cherishers of religion and fame, as a dissolute spendthrift his choicest glory ?
25. ” Or even if thy mind be resolved to abandon thy kindred and thy kingdom, thou will not, 0 Master, abandon me,—thy feet are my only refuge.
26. ” I cannot go to the city with my soul thus burning, leaving thee behind in the forest.
27. “What will the king say to me, returning to the city without thee, or what shall I say to thy wife by way of telling them good news ?
28. ” As for what thou sayest, ‘ thou must repeat my unworthiness to the king ‘ who could think or believe it?” continued Channa. “Even if I ventured to speak it with a heart ashamed and a tongue cleaving to my mouth, he may not appreciate it.
29. ” Him who is always compassionate and who never fails to feel pity, it ill befits to abandon one who loves; turn back and have mercy on me.”
30. Having heard these words of Channa overcome with sorrow, Siddharth Gautama with the utmost gentleness answered:
31. “Abandon this distress Channa, regarding thy separation from me,—charge is inevitable in corporeal beings who are subject to different births. 32. ” Even. if I through affection were not to abandon my kindred, death would still make us helplessly abandon one another.
33. ” She, my mother, by whom I was born in the womb with great thirst and pains,—where am I now with regard to her, and where is she with regard to me?
34. “As birds go to their roosting-tree and then depart, so the meeting of beings inevitably ends in separation.
35. ” As clouds, having come together, depart asunder again, such I consider the meeting and parting of living things.
36. ” And since this world goes away, each one deceiving the other,—it is not right to think anything thine own in a time of union which is a dread.
37. ” Therefore, since it is so, grieve not, my good friend, but go ; or if thy love lingers, then go and afterwards return.
38. ” Say without reproaching me, to the people of Kapilavatsu, ‘ Let your love for him be given up, and hear his resolve.’ “
39. Having heard this conversation between the master and the servant, Kanthaka, the noblest steed, licked his feet with his tongue and dropped hot tears.
40. With his hand whose fingers were untied with a membrane and which was marked with the auspicious svastika, and with its middle part curved, Gautama stroked him and addressed him like a friend:
41. “Shed not tears, Kanthaka, bear with it, thy labours will soon have its fruit.”
42. Then Channa, knowing that the time for the parting of the ways had come, forthwith paid honour to the sylvan dress of Gautama.
43. Then Gautama, having bidden good-bye to Kanthaka and Channa, went on his way.
44. While his master, thus regardless of his kingdom, was going to the ascetic-wood in mean garments, the groom, tossing up his arms, wailed bitterly and fell on the ground.
45. Having looked back again he wept aloud, and embraced the horse Kanthaka with his arms: and then, hopeless and repeatedly lamenting, started on his return journey.
46. On the way, sometimes he pondered, sometimes he lamented, sometimes he stumbled and sometimes he fell, and so going along, wretched through his devoted attachment, he performed all kinds of actions on the road knowing not what he was doing.
§20. The Return of Channa
1. Then Channa in deep distress, when his master thus went into the forest, made every effort on the road to dissolve his load of sorrow.
2. His heart was so heavy that the road which he used to traverse in one night with Kanthaka, that same road he now took eight days to travel, pondering over his lord’s absence.
3. The horse Kanthaka, though he still went on bravely, fagged and had lost all spirit ; and decked though he was with ornaments, he in the absence of his master seemed to have lost all his beauty.
4. And turning round towards the direction in which his master went, he neighed repeatedly with a mournful sound; and though pressed with hunger, he welcomed not, nor tasted any grass or water on the road, as before.
5. Slowly the two at long last reached Kapila-vatsu which seemed empty when deserted by Gautama. They reached the city in body but not in soul.
6. Bright as it was with lotus-covered waters, adorned with trees full of flowers, the citizens had lost all their gladness.
7. When the two, their brightness gone and their eyes dim with tears, slowly entered the city, it seemed all bathed in gloom.
8. Having heard that they had returned with their limbs all relaxed, coming back without the pride of the Sakya race, the men of the city shed tears.
9. Full of wrath, the people followed Channa in the road, crying behind him with tears, ” Where is the king’s son, the glory of his race and his kingdom ? “
10. ” This city bereft of him is a forest, and that forest which possesses him is a city ; the city without him has no charms for us.”
11. Next the women crowded to the rows of windows, crying to one another, “The prince has returned “; but having seen that his horse had an empty back, they closed the windows again and wailed aloud.
§21 The Family in Mourning
1. The members of the family of Suddhodana were anxiously awaiting the return of Channa in the hope that he might persuade Gautama to return home.
2. On entering the royal stable, Kanthaka uttered a loud sound, uttering his woe to the palace people.
3. Then the people, who were in the neighbourhood of the king’s inner apartments, thought in their hearts, ” Since the horse Kanthaka neighs, it must be that the prince has come.”
4. And the women, who were fainting with sorrow, now in wild joy, with their eyes rolling to see the prince, rushed out of the palace full of hope. But they were disappointed. There was Kanthaka without the prince.
5. Gautami, abandoning all self-control, cried aloud—she fainted, and with a weeping face exclaimed:
6. ” With his long arms and lion gait, his bulllike eye, and his beauty, bright like gold, his broad chest, and his voice deep as a drum or a cloud,—should, such a hero as this dwell in a hermitage ?
7. “This earth is indeed unworthy as regards that peerless doer of noble actions, for such a virtuous hero has gone away from us.
8. “Those two feet of his, tender with their beautiful web spread between the toes, with their ankles, concealed and soft like a blue lotus,—how can they, bearing a wheel mark in the middle, walk on the hard ground of the skirts of the forest ?
9. “That body, which deserves to sit or lie on the roof of a palace, honoured with costly garments, aloes, and sandalwood, how will that manly body live in the woods, exposed to the attacks of the cold, the heat, and the rain?
10. ” He who was proud of his family, goodness, strength, energy, sacred learning, beauty, and youth, who was ever ready to give, not ask, how will he go about begging alms from others ?
11. “He who, lying on a spotless golden bed, was awakened during the night by the concert of musical instruments, how alas! will he, my ascetic, sleep today on the bare ground with only one rag of cloth interposed ? “
12. Having heard this piteous lamentation, the women, embracing one another with their arms, rained tears from their eyes, as the shaken creepers drop honey from their flowers.
13. Then Yeshodhara, forgetting that she had permitted him to go, fell upon the ground in utter bewilderment.
14. ” How has he abandoned me his lawful wife? He has left me widowed. He could have allowed his lawful wife to share his new life with him.
15. “I have no longing for the heaven, my one desire was that my beloved may never leave me either in this world or the next.
16. ” Even if I am unworthy to look on my husband’s face with its long eyes and bright smile, still is this poor Rahula never to roll about in his father’s lap ?
17. ” Alas ! the mind of that wise hero is terribly stern, gentle as his beauty seems, it is pitilessly cruel. Who can desert of his own accord such an infant son with his inarticulate talk, one who would charm even an enemy ?
18. ” My heart too is certainly most stern, yea, made of rock or fashioned even of iron, which does not break when its lord is gone to the forest, deserted by his royal glory like an orphan,—he so well worthy of happiness. But what can I do ? My grief is too heavy for me to bear.” 19. So fainting in her woe, Yeshodhara wept and wept aloud—self-possessed though she was by nature, yet in her distress she had lost her fortitude.
20. Seeing Yeshodhara thus bewildered with her wild utterances of grief and fallen on the ground, all the women cried out, with their faces streaming with tears like large lotuses beaten by the rain.
21. Having heard of the arrival of both Channa and Kanthaka, and having learned of the fixed resolve of his son, Suddhodana fell struck down by sorrow.
22. Distracted by his grief for his son, being held up for a moment by his attendants, Suddhodana gazed on the horse with his eyes filled with tears, and then falling on the ground wailed aloud.
23. Then Suddhodana got up and entered his temple, offered prayers, performed auspicious rites and vowed certain sacrifices for the safe return of his son.
24. So Suddhodana, Gautami and Yeshodhara passed their days asking : ” How long, 0 God, how long, before, shall we see him again ? “